Tired, but Blessed...

It is amazing to me how a tiny little baby can control your whole life. It's such a tough, tough adventure (but one that is full of so much reward too!). I remember "some" of what we experienced with the other kids, but it's sort of like childbirth - in that it is best we forget all of the details or we might never go through with it multiple times.

To say I am exhausted would be a complete understatement... I am amazed that the energy to make it through each day keeps surfacing. Lets face it... I am no spring chicken. I will be 42 this year - just getting through life itself can be challenging, so having these 3 little energy-suckers is overwhelming sometimes.

When I think of adding work back into the mix... Well, I don't have words... How on earth do people balance all of this? It scares me a bit to think about fitting everything into a day, as my job is very demanding (focus, travel and mental challenges.)

I am learning that I can't complete my lists (though this doesn't go over well with my "OCD" tendencies), that the laundry will NEVER be caught up, nor will I get everything on the dinner table that I had planned. I will never have the time to properly shave my legs, or get all the bills taken care of in one sitting.  Heck, I feel good if I can get the kids out the door with matching socks!  However, I also know I am blessed beyond measure to have Joe to share in this adventure because he is committed to a 50% parenting role. No way we could make this work any other way.... But it is still so hard.

What I am working on is to focus on each kid and help them grow and expand their world... It takes a concerted effort to not be passive in this endeavor, but I am sure trying.

These kids are awesome... I love them so much and it took so long for our family to come together. I know what we have is very special and I don't take it for granted whatsoever. But... It doesn't mean I couldn't use more hours in a day for some sleep. :-)

There are 2 wonderful songs that always help give me perspective: "Sleep" and "Blink" by Plumb.