"Discover Adoption Night"

Last night Joe and I attended a local Bethany Christian Services “Discover Adoption Night.”   It is a program/forum for people who are considering adoption to find out more details and ask questions.  We were asked to speak on the adoptive parent panel about the process and share our experience.  We were there with 2 other families who also adopted this year:  one was domestic and the other had adopted from Ukraine (3 siblings.)

It was a fun night - and we are always happy to share our story, if it will help other people make an informed decision on adoption.  It is something I told myself I would do if we ever got the chance, in the future.  And... we also walked away with some new thoughts and insight too. 

• Samuel did so good.  I am always nervous taking him into public settings where the eye will be on him.  Though I guess I should let that fear go, given he has done quite well in those situations (the one exception being his dedication at church!  And maybe that has been etched into my brain, causing the paranoia!)  L  But he sat quietly in BOB, playing with an etch-a-sketch until it was our time to sit upfront as a panel.  And then he sat very quietly on my lap, playing with my rings, while we answered questions.
• Afterward, Samuel was very cautious and stayed around us…  the one time he left us was after he asked if he could go get a book out of BOB.  We noticed this at the football game last weekend too.  He will stay very close to us, unless he know we give him the approval to play elsewhere, etc… 

THIS MAKES OUR HEARTS HAPPY AND AT PEACE.  Because he has bonded and these are the signs of success…  I know it’s hard to understand that if you haven’t adopted a toddler, but it means so much to us.  That he considers us “HIS” now.

• Another Bonding Observation:  We noticed the youngest little Ukraine girl (maybe 2 years old) grabbed a book and took it over to the domestic adoptive mom and sat in her lap to read it.  Joe and I were talking (after we got home) and shared that we both CRINGED when we saw this.  I know it seems crazy/over-paranoid and people might roll their eyes, but as an adoptive parent of a toddler, we now understand the “rules” and why they are so important to follow.  I would never pick up and hold a newly adopted toddler.  I think the difference was that the domestic parent has had her child since the day she was born… so appreciating/understanding that concept doesn’t necessarily exist (and I have to say I didn’t understand it until I went through it myself.)  It’s just so important to allow all needs to be fulfilled by the adoptive parents during those first few months…  (even as trivial as “holding” seems…)  I guess it was just interesting that BOTH Joe and I had such strong internal reactions to the scene.

So anyway – it was good to talk through our story and the share our thoughts on the international adoption process.  It was a reminder that all of the pain and tough times we endured were WELL worth it.  And I really do believe it was a strong lesson in patience and reliance on God and His timing, for both Joe and I – one that has changed both of our lives.  And it was good to see Carrie, our adoption case worker.  She and her husband just brought home 2 sibling girls from Ethiopia (they already had adopted one girl from there a few years ago) so she understands what we have been through and has been great to work with…